


Only the Lonely Survive

by ImagineTheDragon



Series: I Wouldn't Mind [3]
Category: Seduce Me (Visual Novel)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:28:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25656679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImagineTheDragon/pseuds/ImagineTheDragon
Summary: A bit of fluff set after the events of Carry You Home
Relationships: Sam Anderson | Aomaris/Original Female Character(s)
Series: I Wouldn't Mind [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1799428
Comments: 5
Kudos: 15





	Only the Lonely Survive

**Author's Note:**

> some sam/abby fluff set about a week after Carry You Home ends. i'm always a slut for sitting two characters down to talk about their shit  
> edit: i changed sam's job from policeman to fire fighter for a couple reasons. 1) i never thought policeman suited him to begin with. one of his main traits is how much he eschews authority in the abyssal plain. for me, him turning around and BECOMING the authority always struck me as weird and 2) given the political climate of 2020, i'm not comfortable writing him as a police officer. i'm just not. i meant to add this explanation when i first posted, but it slipped my mind while i was in the editing process  
> title taken from Only the Lonely Survive by Marianas Trench (a very good song by a very good band from my hometown)

I couldn’t remember what my dream had been about, just that when I slowly started clawing my way back to consciousness, Sam’s brilliant green eyes were the first thing I saw that made sense. 

He was holding me in his lap, one hand tangled in my hair to cradle my head, the other wrapped over and around my hips, and his forehead was knit with worry. 

My heart was racing, and I was panting like I had just run a race, my muscles twitching and spasming as my brain fired off signals in a blind panic, clammy sweat making my hair stick to my forehead in lank corkscrews. I managed to grab Sam’s wrist as he started to pull his arm back. 

My eyes weren’t quite focussing properly, but I could see Sam’s eyes, and they were helping ground me. 

Our usual MO for dealing with my nightmares was Sam wakes me up, then he sets me on the bed and moves away to give me space to calm down and readjust to reality. It was a system that usually worked, but this time it felt like if he let me go it would be… bad. 

I pulled his hand up to my face, nuzzling my cheek into his palm. “Pl- pl- p-” 

I closed my eyes and tried to take a deep breath, jaw alternately locking shut and shaking so hard I couldn’t get any words out. 

Sam pressed his hand tighter to my face, rubbing his thumb across my cheek and using his other hand to pull me closer to his chest. “Okay, okay, I’m right here, Abs,” he said softly, and I managed something that might have resembled a smile for half a second. 

I kept my eyes closed, trying to focus on my breathing while Sam rocked me, stroking my face with his thumb and murmuring encouragement. 

I don’t know how long it took, but eventually the tremors started to subside, and my breathing started to even out. I felt Sam press a kiss to my forehead, his own breath beginning to come easier. As my awareness of what was around me increased, I noticed his own heartbeat through the side of my head pressed to his chest. It was also pounding, a hell of a lot faster than it normally did, even when he was stressed about my panic attacks. 

I managed to peel open my eyes, looking up at him from where he held me cradled in his lap. I was surprised to see him crying. He wasn’t sobbing, but even in the low light of our bedroom at… whenever hellish time it was, I could distinctly see the damp trails on his face. 

Still shaking a little, I disentangled an arm, reaching up to try and wipe them away. “H-hey, I’m-m sorry, Sammy. I-I’m sorry f-for waking you up-p on a work night. I-I can go sleep in a guest room for the res-t-”

He gave an almost hysterical snort. “Don’t be dumb, doofus.” He bent down and kissed my forehead before adjusting my position in his lap. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine at work, and there’s no way you sleeping in a guest room is going to help  _ anyone _ .”

I nodded. That sounded right. I’d keep panicking and Sam wouldn’t be able to sleep out of worry. Still. He was - or had been - crying. 

I took a few more deep breaths, nuzzling my head into his chest and trying to relax, wrapping myself in his scent.  _ Sam is here. He won’t let anything bad happen. Sam is keeping me safe until I can make myself safe again, _ I recited to myself, the familiar chant helping. 

When I finally felt like myself again, I gave Sam a shaky smile. “Okay. I’m alright Sammy.”

He helped me sit up, getting me settled back on my side of the bed before lying down again himself, still watching me with concern. 

I reached out beneath the covers and gave his hand a squeeze before sliding a bit closer to him, still a bit anxious from my nightmare. Whatever it had been. 

“I know I’m the one with the most noticeable cracks right now,” I said slowly as he removed his hand from mine and wrapped his arm around my waist. “But I’m allowed to worry about you. You need to talk about things that’re bothering you too.”

He made a noncommittal noise, rubbing his cheek on the top of my head. 

“I’m serious, Sammy,” I said. “Please. We can talk about it tomorrow when you’re done work, but we  _ should _ talk about it.”

There were a few moments of silence, then I felt him nod against my head. “This isn’t an argument I’m gonna win, is it?” I made a ‘nuh-uh’ sound, pushing my forehead into the crook of his shoulder. “Alright, fine. When I get back from the fire hall.”

“Thank you,” I said quietly, giving his shoulder a kiss before closing my eyes and trying to fall back asleep.

Sam stayed up, arms wrapped comfortingly around me, humming bits and pieces of various songs under his breath as he waited for me to pass out again.

~~~

“In the entertainment room!” I called, hearing Sam coming back downstairs after his shower.

I had been watching a movie waiting for him to come home, and there were two freshly delivered pizza’s sitting on the middle cushion of the couch, a two litre pop sitting on the floor and a glass in each cup holder. 

I paused the TV, giving Sam a smile over my shoulder as he walked in. He was wearing one of the ripped muscle shirts I’d made for him out of a band t-shirt from a concert we’d gone to, the sleeves cut low enough that the muscled sides of his torso were very visible. I appreciated the eye candy, but I hoped he didn’t think that it was gonna get him out of talking about emotions. 

“Whatcha watch- ah, Pacific Rim.” 

I glanced at the screen, frozen on Chuck Hansen flushed red and surrounded by steam in the middle of his fight with Raleigh Becket. 

“Listen, I have a type,” I laughed. 

He didn’t see the comparisons I drew between him and Chuck, but he tolerated my long-established movie crush on the character with grim acceptance. 

Sam took a seat on the opposite side of the couch, and I nudged the top pizza towards him. He pulled it into his lap and opened it up, making a noise of appreciation before falling on the contents as though he hadn’t eaten in a month or more.

I chuckled. The more things changed, the more they stayed the same. I pulled my own pizza towards myself, taking out a slice and eating it at a more leisurely pace. 

“So,” I started when I was halfway through my first piece and Sam was a quarter through his pizza. 

“So.” He kept eating, but he definitely slowed down, and I saw his shoulders stiffen.

“Will you tell me why you were so upset last night?”

I hated pushing, but he was obviously upset, and I wouldn’t let him be upset alone. I had a few thoughts about what it could be, but I didn’t like speculating about stuff like this.

“I don’t think I should- uh…” He fell silent for a few seconds.

“Remember, like, two months after we met when I was upset about something, but I didn’t want to talk to you about it because I wanted to deal with it on my own?” I prompted.

He looked away, staring at the wall next to the TV. “Yeah,” he finally replied. 

“You remember what you said to me about it?”

He snorted. “‘Stop being so stubborn, you don’t have to do this on your own. I can’t help unless I know what’s wrong.’”

I nodded, a smirk twitching at my lips. “Yuh-huh. So. Talk to me.”

He looked back at me, closing his pizza box and setting it on the floor with a sigh. 

“I- I dunno. I just- whenever I see you like that I just keep thinking-” he blew out a frustrated breath, glaring at the wall again.

I set my own pizza aside and slid across the couch, turning so my back was to him. Sam automatically adjusted himself and pulled me closer until I was leaning against his chest, his legs on either side of me and his arms around my waist. I hoped not having the pressure of me watching him would help him sort through his thoughts a bit better. 

I took his hands in mine, interlocking our fingers and pressing my lips to the back of his hand. “Take your time, Sammy,” I said softly. 

I felt some of the tension leaving him, the muscles of his chest relaxing minutely. 

“I just can’t stop thinking that you wouldn’t have had to go through all this if we hadn’t ended up in the mansion that day,” he said eventually. 

“I love you, so much that it scares me sometimes,” he continued, pressing a kiss to the top of my messy orange hair. His voice was thick, and I was pretty sure he was crying again. I resisted the urge to look back or do more than rub the backs of his hands with my thumbs. “I just want you to be happy, and I feel like… like I’m the reason you were hurt.”

I gave his hands a squeeze. “Okay,” I replied quietly. I tried to swallow the lump in my throat. I hated that he thought that way. I supposed I could see the twisting logic trail he followed to get to that conclusion, but I hated that he thought he was in any way responsible. In no way shape or form was he the cause of what had happened, I didn’t blame him for any of it. I just didn’t know how to make him see that.

“Did you tell your father when I would be alone?” I asked. I felt him stiffen behind me. But I wasn’t done. I kept my voice as detached and clinical as I could. “Did you cast the spell that hauled me off to the Abyssal Plain? Were you one of the people holding the knives and hot pokers?” Despite my efforts, I was shaking, the ghosts of remembered pain striking through me in flashes as I spoke. I kept pushing through though; I had a point to make. “Were you the one using magic to drain the life from me until I was practically a skeleton? Sam, you can’t take responsibility for what bad people do to those you care about, even if the bad people are your parents.”

“But if we’d left you alone and never came here-”

“I wouldn’t know how much joy I was missing out on.” I closed my eyes and tilted my face up, nuzzling my forehead against the underside of his jaw. “I’m upset by what I went through. It  _ hurts _ , and I don’t like the person it’s turned me into. But I don’t want to be with anyone except you. If the alternative to pain is loneliness, I’ll take the pain.”

Sam pulled in a shuddering breath and took his hands from mine so he could wrap his arms around me. The hug was tight, almost painful, but I didn’t say anything, just let him hold me.

“You’re real dumb sometimes, you know that,” he said eventually. He’d definitely been crying. 

I reached up and rubbed his forearms. “Lucky you, huh?”

He laughed, a choked sound, and moved his hands to my waist, tugging slightly. Knowing what he wanted, I sat up a bit and turned until I was facing him and my legs were around his hips. 

I looked up at him, cupping his face and using my thumbs to wipe the tears from his cheeks. “Sam…”

He held one of my hands against his cheek, just looking down at me. His eyes were full of pain, but behind that there was still the incredible softness that he usually watched me with. 

I felt my own eyes start to fill with tears. I loved him so much, and he was clearly hurting. A lot. I didn’t know what words would be the ones to convince him that he wasn’t at fault for what had happened, but I desperately wished I could find them.

“If I did the right thing for you I’d leave before you were hurt more. Unfortunately I’m too selfish for that. You’re too good for me.” 

I rolled my eyes, tugging him towards me to press a kiss to his lips. 

“Sammy, do you know how ridiculous you sound?” I asked. “You’re a  _ literal _ demon prince. You look… Like That. You’re one of the most considerate people I know. You take such good care of me, you get along with my family, my friends. I adore your sense of humour. And that’s without even mentioning how reliable you are, or the fact that you can literally move boulders without breaking a sweat. If anyone here is selfish, it’s me. I am-” I took one hand off his face to tick off my points, “-human, too short to reach the top shelf, look Like This.” I gestured to my still-healing-and-too-boney body. “I’m one of the most obstinate people I’ve ever had the displeasure of meeting, and, to top it off, I’m  _ kinda  _ crazy.” I put my hand back on his face, ignoring the incredulous look he was giving me. “You deserve someone who’s even half as spectacular as you are, but you got me. Love is a choice, and loving you is a choice I intend to keep making. Also, for the record, leaving someone because ‘it’s the right thing to do for them’ is the worst, most bullshit excuse. You don’t get to decide what’s best for someone else, and if you try to leave me ‘for my own good’ or whatever, not only will I hunt you down, I will sic mother on you.”

Sam leaned down and kissed my forehead. “You’re completely wrong about who doesn’t deserve who, but I guess if we start down that road we’ll end up arguing for hours, huh?”

His voice was almost back to normal. I leaned forward and nuzzled my face into his neck both because I wanted to and because a few stray tears of my own had leaked out and I wanted to get rid of them. 

“Yup,” I agreed. “And you’d lose, because you’re wrong.”

My hands moved from his face to his chest as his arms wrapped around me, pulling me tightly to him as he chuckled. 

“Whatever you say Abs.”

“I  _ am  _ always right, after all.” I hummed happily, playing with the collar of his shirt for a moment. 

“I think,” I started slowly. “You should see a therapist too. Celeste is taking patients again, or she probably knows another good demon therapist if you’d rather talk to someone else.”

Sam’s hands ran up and down my back absently as he considered. 

“It really helps,” I pressed. “It can take a few sessions to really get into the important stuff, but it helps a lot.”

“If it’ll make you happy, I’ll go.”

I glared up at him. “Hey, fuck that.” He blinked in surprise. “Don’t do it for me. Do it for you. I don’t want you to stop thinking this way because I want you to be better at taking care of me some other bullshit. I want you to stop thinking this way because I love you and I want you to take care of yourself.”

“I…”

I just kept glaring at him. 

Suddenly he started laughing. It was a little sheepish, and he rubbed the back of his neck. 

“Alright, alright. For me then.”

I narrowed my eyes at him, and he smiled down at me and kissed my nose. “You’re cute when you’re angry.”

I clicked my teeth at him. “And don’t you forget it buster.”

I snuggled into his chest again, and we sat in silence for a while, just holding each other.

“Sam,” I said quietly. “I’m not saying everything is going to be perfect forever. That’s not… that’s not how life works. We’re two very stubborn, brash, loud people with strong opinions. We’re gonna fight. We’re gonna yell at each other over dumb shit. But you’ve made me the happiest I’ve ever been. You’ve helped me grow as a person. And if I could go back to that day I made the stupidest decision of my life, when I let five strange men stay in my house instead of kicking them to the kerb, I wouldn’t change anything.”


End file.
